It's WolvenBane08's birthday week!
WolvenBane08's avatar

WolvenBane08

Your mind is my playground
88 Watchers487 Deviations
36K
Pageviews

I'm not dead

1 min read
....somehow.

Okay, so last post/entry/thing was around Hip Surgery #2 over a year ago. Since then I have:

Endured physical therapy
Gone back to classes
Had a third hip surgery to take the screws out of my hips
Gone back to classes
Struggled with depression
Filed a medical withdrawal because of depression
Participated in therapy for depression
Adopted the sweetest puppy ever to try and help depression
Went on a Hawaiian cruise with my mother (VOLCANOES!!!)
Voluntarily admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital for depression and suicidal ideation
Participated in out-patient group therapies
Languished
Hit a number of National Parks on a road trip with dad
Voluntarily admitted myself to a specialized program at another psychiatric hospital
Seriously considered suicide (again) after the US Election results

....and am now slowly beginning to participate in group activities with the program, including registering for a class this semester at the local community college.

My creativity has been all but gone for close to a year now, but I'm slowly beginning to get back into writing and drawing. Hopefully I'll be posting stuff again soon.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

ALRIGHTY.

1 min read
So Surgery Numero Dos went super well. We had the anesthetics switched up this time, so I wasn't suffering massive four-day migraines post-op. Unfortunately, I do still get migraines...but ah well. I'm nothing if not good at adapting.

I've recently started physical therapy up again, and man is it a bitch. The people are fantastic and funny, but they really work my ass. And it doesn't help that my left leg is weaker going into PT than my right leg was. Probably because I cheated less this time.
Oh, and I managed to fracture my ass again. Really no idea how I've managed that twice in a row, but talk about a pain!

ANYWHO. The artbugs have been biting again, and with the MMRP starting back up you can expect more arts.

ALSO. Otakon 2014. Bitches, I will SO BE THERE. Which means I may wind up posting pics of the chaos I intend to create. One of the last MM Meetups for Otakon, so you can BET we'll go out with a bang~
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Is tomorrow. At 7:30 AM. Which means I need to be at the hospital by 6 AM. Which means I need to be up by 5 AM.

All of which means I'm probably just not going to sleep because three-to-five hours just isn't worth it. Especially considering I get an induced nap.

And yes, that's how I approach each surgery: as an induced nap.

Really, the worst part leading up to it is that I'm not allowed to eat after midnight. That just sucks.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I'm flying high and never coming down. 

And the world can go fuck itself because I'm high on creativity and NEVER coming back. 
Until I have to go back to class. I'm sure I'll crash-land then.

And, shoot. I'm not about to question it, either. My art has improved by leaps and bounds since the Fall, nevermind since I've been here. 

I've managed to get back in touch with parts of myself I'd either suppressed due to drama or had just forgotten about. And I just feel...free.

Sure, I still have my demons that haunt me...but, in time, even those will be exorcised or carved out. 

For now, though, I will fly free and high while I can. Nothing lasts forever, after all.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I mean, here I am drawing stuff (Azula, mostly) on a near-daily basis...and even a month ago I'd have laughed at you if you'd told me I'd be doing this. 
Granted, I'm not the least bit surprised that Azula is the subject of the vast majority of my recent art. She's my baby after all. 
But still. Even in the last month or so I can see improvement in my artwork by leaps and bounds. Frankly, it's completely blowing my mind. I look at some of the stuff I've drawn in the last few days and I just sorta sit there and wonder if it was really me who drew it. 

I guess this semester off has been better for me than I ever imagined. 
Granted, it's been far from easy. My first (yes, first) hip surgery went really well, but I suffered migraines for over two months after it. It was hard. I'm not the kind of person who enjoys laying around unable to do anything for myself. If I'm going to be a lazy bum, I'll be a lazy bum by choice. 
Physical Therapy has been tough too. Not as tough as I thought it'd be....but then I tend to over-estimate how hard things will be. It's a good way to keep from being overwhelmed by any given situation.

And my grandmother passed away last weekend. That...that was tough. And I still don't think it's really sunk in just yet. 
She always loved it when I'd sing; so for her funeral service, I stepped way out of my comfort-zone and lead one of the songs. Everyone says I did well, but personally, I feel like I could have done better. I feel like I have done better.

And all that on the heels of a confusing and emotional breakup. I still don't know what happened, and I doubt I ever will. That's something I've been working on coming to terms with this semester off; I hate not knowing things, but I highly doubt I'll ever know what went wrong.

And in a month (mid-May) I'll be having the same surgery on my left hip. I get the feeling that recovery process is going to be significantly more difficult since my right leg/hip has been weakened from the first surgery.
BUT. Better to get it done now than to need a hip replacement later on down the line. 

But in spite of all the crap going on, creatively I've never been better. I'm writing regularly in a super-fun RP over on MM, and I'm drawing on a near-nightly basis. Partly due to the awesomeness of the RP, partly due to music, and partly (mostly) because Azula just won't leave me alone.

And honestly, I love it. She's always been in the back of my head just lurking...as if she's been waiting for something. And I guess it paid off. She's got me writing (my headcanon of) her story post-series...and her character development--which I've always known the results of--is just fascinating.

I can't tell you how many times I've wandered into my headspace to find her, Shego, and Raven (my OC) just sitting around chatting like old pals. It's a little disconcerting when they gang up on me (especially when I'm trying to cheat during PT...damn athletic types), but it's also oddly soothing.
They're there for me. And that's awesome.


AND now I sound completely mental. Oh well. 

Anyway, that's an update on the Happenings of Jenna's Life.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

I'm not dead by WolvenBane08, journal

ALRIGHTY. by WolvenBane08, journal

Surgery Numero Dos by WolvenBane08, journal

I don't quite know why but... by WolvenBane08, journal

It's kinda funny, really by WolvenBane08, journal